Glitter in the Air

"Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, "I just don't care?" ~ Pink, Glitter in the Air

I posted this lyric on Facebook today and a friend of mine wrote glitter = fear, just sayin... I sat and looked at that and thought, "Maybe that's why I love that song so much and maybe that's why that lyric means so much to me..."

Fear... Everyone has fears - some rational and some irrational. I have them - just like everyone else, and i used to pride myself for "feeling the fear and doing it anyway."

I moved to San Francisco when i was 19 and the only people i knew were the people i worked with and my roommate (who turned out to be a nut case) and i loved every minute of living there... I'm not going to say that i wasn't scared because i was, but i looked fear in the face and said, "I just don't care." From San Francisco, i moved to Orlando, FL and then to Portland, OR - each time only knowing 1 or 2 people when i moved. Fear was something i didn't have - i did things my friends were too scared to do because they didn't know anyone or they "couldn't" move away...

Fast forward to November, 2009... My husband is offered a job in Virginia... Virginia?! That's so far from my mom and dad!!! OMG - i can't go THAT far away from home... What about the kids? I don't know anyone in Virginia! It's cold there in the winter! The fear is closing in on me day by day, minute by minute... We decide against Virginia. Whew! Dodged that bullet! How was i supposed to know that was "the tip of the ice burg?"

Now it's December 2009 and my husband's company has offered him a job in Lawton, OK for less money than he's making in Vegas... I sit at his company's Christmas party and he tells me that the VP of the company has told him he should "take the job." Lawton, Oklahoma?! I was hoping for somewhere cool like San Diego, not Lawton, Oklahoma... I don't know anyone there, and from what i'd heard at that point in time, it was crazy cold there in the winter, and what do people do in Oklahoma??

2 weeks later (and 3 days before Xmas), i watch my belongings get piled into a trailer, ready to be on their way to Oklahoma... Here goes my fistful of glitter!! But wait, leaving still hasn't set in yet... 5 days from packing our stuff in a truck, we pile the kids, dog, Xmas presents, and ourselves in the Tahoe... This is it!! I'm looking fear right in the face, and damn, i'm scared!! Tears fill my eyes as i wave goodbye to my mom and dad and my childhood home... You can do it!! Throw that fistful of glitter! Look fear in the face and do it!

We made it to Lawton, OK on Jan. 2, 2010. It's now the end of May, and i can honestly say that i haven't been this happy in a long time... Other than my husband, i know a family that has a son my sons age. I have a garden that i take care of and flowers that i have planted that i take care of... I love that i can look out my back window and see a herd of buffalo across the way and that in the morning, i can open my back door and enjoy the fresh air and send my kids out in the yard and let them play for hours.

This move has been amazing for me. I've done a lot of soul searching, and found that all the things i thought i was going to miss in Vegas are right here with me... I have my family and i'm slowly making friends, and i'm finding things that my family can do together other than watching a TV show or a movie! I enjoy playing outside with the kids and dancing around my kitchen as i cook dinner for the family... Throwing that fistful of glitter was the best thing i've done for myself in years!!!

How Old is too Old?

It was my four-year-old's birthday and at first he wanted a fish... A fish named "Ponyo" to be exact - and she was going to grow up and be his sister... Then we went shopping...

Being that he is homeschooled and anything educational is "fun" to him, his first choice was a Toy Story 3 game for his Leapster - which Dad and i were proud of him for choosing... The fish idea was now long gone (i was kinda happy - less work for me), and he was on the hunt for something he and his friend could play with out in our yard... Water guns?! But of course - those equal hours of fun and he could squirt his little brother without much recoil from him, AND mom and dad could join in the fun...

Then we turned down the pool toys and backyard sprinkler aisle... Mom and Dad had already gotten him the cool Buzz Lightyear Rocket Launcher yard sprinkler - which he was ecstatic about getting, but now he spied Buzz and Woody on a different box... A Toy Story 3 SLIP AND SLIDE!!! Now, i must ask, for a 4 year old, does it get any better than that? Umm, NO! In the cart it went, and now he was done with the Leapster game cuz a slip and slide is SO much cooler than an educational game!!! We convinced him that he could get the Slip and Slide, the water guns, AND the game, so his birthday was (in his own words) "The BEST DAY EVER!!"

Fast forward to the weekend after his bday... It's Sunday afternoon and Dad and Mom are out of ideas of what to do inside so we venture out to our yard... "Daddy, can we please play with my Buzz Rocket ship?" Why not? It's nice out and it would be fun to play outside! Out came the the swim trunks for both Daddy and the Zman as Mom chased around the littlest one to get him in some sort of water attire (a Little Swimmer and his brother's Clone Wars t-shirt)... And out in the yard they went...

The Buzz Rocket ship was a big hit, but Zman was looking for more excitement, so Mommy opened up the slip and slide... The smiles on my children couldn't be contained - we had hit The JACKPOT!! As soon as the slip and slide hit the ground, the kids were drenched by the ice cold hose water and loving every minute of it! I suddenly felt like i was 6 years old again!!

I raced back in the house and put on my swim suit and waited in line for my turn to slide down the silvery piece of plastic that now had grass pieces mixed in with the water and my 20 month-old liked standing in the middle of... As i watched my husband take his turn, i was taken back to summers in my childhood with my friends in my neighborhood racing around with twin stick popsicles or big sticks and throwing water balloons.

It was finally my turn... I flung myself on the 5 ft water-covered plastic and revisited my childhood in a flash!! In a matter of moments, i was 6 yrs old again in my tie-dyed bikini chasing Jorja and running through the sprinkler in my backyard... For those few moments, my life was as simple as my 4 yr olds' life is... All because of a slip and slide. I rode the slip and slide 3 or 4 more times that afternoon and relished every moment of it.

So i get to my question - how old is too old to have fun like you did when you were 6? I say NEVER!!! I still look forward to playing tag with my kids in my backyard. I love breaking out the water guns and having a water gun fight with my kids and i'm going to be 34 in 2 1/2 weeks...

So i close with this... When was the last time you felt like you were a young child? Are you ever too old to fling yourself down a slip and slide and play tag with your kids in the backyard? If you missed out on these childhood memories as a child - i suggest you revisit these childhood past times and make some new memories!